STOP! MEN AHEAD. Proceed with caution.

Attention all women!



There are some men who must be avoided at all costs. Here are some…

THE CLINGER
He gives you a lot of attention, yes, but the same attention starts suffocating you after a few months.

He is extremely jealous and all hell breaks loose if he sees you even talking to another man. Non-stop inquiries like ‘Where are you?', ‘When will you meet me?’ may seem like true love in the beginning but gradually, it will suck the last bit of freedom out of your life.

THE PARENTAL SEEKER
What he needs is a mom and not a girlfriend. It is true that men are attracted to women who show some motherly traits and take care of them, this category takes it a little too seriously. He seeks protection at all times to cover up his own failure.

Dating a man like him feels more like taking care of a child rather than having a boyfriend to pamper. You need to take care of his wallet, his cell phone, remind him of his office appointments.

Bottom line, if you want to adopt an over-grown kid, he is the one.

THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
He has had a series of failed relationships. And till date, he hasn’t been able to figure out what kind of woman does he really want to be with. He is always with one woman, yet clinging on to his half-hearted feelings for someone else. If you date a man like this, you need to wait for an eternity before he really comes around.

THE MENTALLY ILL
When you meet him for the first time, he seems normal. There are times when his high-funda knowledge of politics and current affairs leaves you bowled. However, only when you know him well, you see the real picture. A relationship with him is extremely time-consuming and emotionally demanding. For him, being involved with someone is an escape route to battle his own insecurities. So watch out!

THE ADDICTED
This one very often shows similar traits like the ‘Mentally ill'. Drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, the list of his addictions is never-ending. Not only is he addicted, but doesn’t mind trying out different addictions that will keep him occupied.

An ideal woman for them is someone who doesn’t mind his addictions and will never confront him on the same, no matter how serious they get.

THE VIOLENT
As your relationship progresses, he starts getting more and more possessive. And the moment you protest, you see the ugly side. His fits of anger can leave you in shock. He is someone who doesn’t mind getting physical to prove his point. Not only do they harm you, they can even harm themselves, only to prove that they are right.

THE SECRET KEEPER
You may feel that you know him extremely well. However, you are wrong. What you know about such men is just the tip of the iceberg. They have many skeletons hiding in the closet that leave you shocked as you gradually come to know about them. From secret relationships to records of crime and even undisclosed diseases, having a relationship with someone like him is like sitting on a time bomb.

He prefers women who are already preoccupied with their lives, so that they won’t have the time to ask questions and demand explanations.

SEX RELATED QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY A SEXPERT

1/ I am 32 years old. I got married two months ago. My wife is 25 years old. Her vaginal opening is very small and my penis is 9 inches long. As a result, we are unable to have intercourse. She experiences a lot of pain. I am very upset. She is uncomfortable consulting a doctor. We used Xylocaine gel 2% for a week but it didn’t help. She also attempted suicide in desperation. Please help us out.

Please ensure that the gel is applied a little inside and on the inner lips of her vagina. She should wait for 20 minutes before trying to insert her finger inside. The vaginal opening may look small but it can expand enough so as to allow a baby’s head to pass through. Hence, a good length penis can be easily accommodated. If not successful (don’t be in a hurry), consult a gynaecologist. Please tell your wife that this is a common problem and there is no need to feel depressed. All will be well.

2/ My child is 14 years old. I think he has started masturbating. How do I go about advising him on sex related issues? Why do children masturbate? How many times in a day (or a week) is it okay for them to masturbate? What are the side effects? How can it be avoided?

Hopefully, you and your husband share a healthy relationship with your son that can allow him to share his concerns (not only sex related) with both of you. Masturbation is common among most young people at this age and even later. If he doesn’t masturbate, he will have nightfall. So, there’s no need to stop him. Rather, you must ensure that he has enough opportunities to develop his skills and divert his mind. The number of times will depend on the sexual excitement. There are no side effects. He will grow into a healthy boy. Both of you should talk to him about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
("you", mumbai mirrror, 06/14/08)